You don't have to be "better" than every other guy in the room. That's not how attraction works. It's not a checklist or a contest - it's a connection. Embrace being you - because there is no other You out there to compete with. That's what I mean when I'm saying "own who you are." Assuming that nobody else in the world is interested in the things you are is not only silly, it's stupid. Why would you want to be with someone who isn't interested in a lot of the same things or at least appreciates that you like what you like? You don't want every woman (or just any woman) - you want one who is a good fit for YOU and you have to embrace who you are in order to find her. Of course, you'll run across a lot of people who aren't a good fit for that but that's what dating is - a vetting process to sort out the ones who aren't a good match for you in some way.

My husband and I just celebrated 31 years of marriage. Staying together for a long time is hard. There are so many challenges to it. If you aren't with someone who really, really likes who you are and has a lot in common with you, you're not going to make it because there's nothing to fall back on when times get tough. Physical attraction and the rush we call love are not enough. And you can't build that kind of deep connection with someone if you won't let them see who you really are and that you like who that guy is.

Not all women want the exact same man - or nearly all men would look and be like that guy by now because all the rest would have died out. Evolutionary success is all about diversity. Stop trying to compete with other men and be yourself.