You have not said anything problematic directly to me for some time, so there's no need to apologize. But, I have had to correct you on the realities and the statistics of just about every area that we have discussed. And, to date you have yet to say anything at all about the reality of both pervasive sexual violence as well as other types of control-oriented violence against women which are both a huge problem in this culture. Both of those things are directly correlated with a culture of masculinity that is dominance oriented and where control of women is largely normalized and expected.
And the fact that you said you once took a women's studies class means that shouldn't be news to you. Deciding that talking about that is attacking men is frankly fragile. Patriarchy is a problem - for men as well. A culture steeped in violent domination as a metric of masculinity is a problem - for men as well. To some extent, we are all responsible for that, because women uphold patriarchy too, but as a man, you are absolutely on the hook for helping to maintain that culture whether you actually do any of those problem things or not. Your silence and your inaction are what allows the culture to continue in such a dysfunctional manner. The dominant demographic in a culture is always responsible for what takes place within it. As a man, as a father, and as a man of the cloth, I think you have a responsibility to try to create a better society. I'd like to see you digging into that instead of spending most of your time behaving defensively.
When you spout off stuff that is clearly nothing but manosphere tribal markers which are designed to minimize and dismiss real things that women face, I don't consider that to be a good-faith discussion. You are more than welcome to talk about your own experiences or perceptions but when you're just trying to bludgeon women with shit you heard online, it's more about being defensive and shutting other people down than it is in having an actual dialogue that might lead to greater understanding and maybe even a better world. When I see you doing that, I am going to call you on it. I'm glad to hear you've had some good conversations - because that's where we can all begin to impact society for the better.
Talking about women in blue-collar jobs is frankly ancillary to the main point. I only brought up the coal mining thing because you were so adamant and antagonistic about it - but also dead wrong because it was yet another manosphere tribal marker and not really coming from you. I demand a high level of self-awareness and integrity from people who are in my sphere. I've often seen you live up to that, which is why I'm going to continue to remind you when I don't see it because I believe that you are capable of it, and if I'm going to continue to be friendly with you, that's what it's going to take.
