You just read an entire story with a woman explaining how being treated like this wasn't at all best for her - and have heard from two more women explaining why it's also not best for them - or a lot of other women and you keep doubling down. You and your family should absolutely live in the way that works for you - but trying to make a blanket statement that it's actually good in the face of someone sharing about how it's been hurtful and painful to her is tactless and rude.

And we haven't remotely moved past gender roles - again as the story that started all this makes abundantly clear - but we need to. That doesn't mean you don't get to be the guy you want to be - it's means that pressure and policing of anyone to adhere to certain norms is inappropriate. In fact, there's a huge amount of information out there right now about how much these gender norms can harm men and drive violence in the culture. If they aren't harming you - great - but don't speak for other people and don't tell people who've expressed how hurtful it feels to be marginalized and feeling erased as a person that it's actually a good thing. It's really unchivalrous, ungallant behavior!

https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpub/article/PIIS2468-2667(21)00138-9/fulltext

“Gender norms around masculinity commonly confer power and status to boys and young men, which might in part explain why norms around masculinity are difficult to shift. Paradoxically, these dominant masculinities carry risks for poor mental health.3 Globally, the rate of male suicide is two to four times that of females,4 and males fare poorly on indices of substance misuse, risk taking-related injury, conduct problems, violence, aggression, and by extension incarceration.3”

“Men’s gender norms have an enormous impact on their behavior in ways that are often harmful to both women and men. For example, if it is the norm that men are in charge of sexual and intimate relationships, then women lack autonomy and may experience physical and sexual violence. If norms that flow from the gendered division of labor stipulate that it is not manly to do housework or look after children (and takes time away from men’s prescribed roles as breadwinners), then this creates enormous hardship for women and ensures that generations of men grow up with reduced empathetic ties to children. If it is normal to see a man as weak if he seeks help or unmanly if he shows physical or emotional vulnerability, then men may be more likely not to look after their own health needs, both physical and emotional.”