You know better than this. Stop swimming around in martyrdom. As you already are well aware, mainstream masculine gender norms teach violence, teach domination, encourage controlling women. It doesn't matter if you don't act on those - they are the meat and potatoes of what boys are taught is expected of them and it drives violence, it drives sexual predation, it drives all sorts of societal issues. A lot of that lives in the subconscious but it's still there, even for guys who are actively challenging it.

It doesn't even matter if you ever act on any of that - most men feel the pressures of it and many succumb to it in one form or another. Stop centering yourself in a narrative of oppression that isn't about you. It's unseemly and unbecoming of anyone who wants to be taken for a "good guy."

White people do deserve to be treated as an oppressor class and so do male people - because historically they have been and continue to be (with some exceptions). You aren't an actual ally if you persist with the "but I didn't do anything" narrative. Do better! We need guys like you on our side.