You said this just the other day, the implication being that feminists make things up (which is pejorative in and of itself). I've seen you say something similar quite often.

You're constantly talking about your "healthy skepticism" about things that women have said about the social dynamics of the culture and how that's negatively affected them. This is not listening and learning. You don't have to take absolutely everything at face value, but you could look further into it or ask for clarification before just automatically discounting what women say (calling it bullshit).

For example, seeing someone as being there to “help” and serve you (a helpmeet) is seeing them as having less inherent humanity than you. Their thoughts, needs, wants, interior life don’t count as much because they are seen as being there for the man to make his life better. The nature of that role is one with diminished humanity. And since a mere 50 years ago there were hundreds of laws that supported this dynamic, I think it would be awfully naive to imagine the social dynamics evaporated the moment the laws changed.

You also said this: “I’m a little sceptical of the idea that what feminists would consider more problematic aspects of masculinity is always just a front hiding some soft inner core that all men have.”

As I pointed out to you at the time you said it, this is not the position of feminists alone. It’s the position of mainstream sociology and psychology. When I first met you, you used phrases like “male nature” and said other things to indicate you believed these behaviors are inherent and not socialized in. Now you know better, but still feel fine saying something like the above, based on how it seems to you as someone who has never studied this, never looked into it, never read about it, etc. That’s not listening to each other when you do that.