You sound like you have a really warped impression of what healthy relationships are supposed to look like. And no, it's not OK if women do any of these things either - but statistically, coercive control is nearly always perpetrated by men — and it’s also illegal in many places, including the state of California, because it’s a form of domestic abuse. Saying that you will only date people who have certain qualities is not the same thing at all because you are not forcing your preferences on anyone else mid rela-tionship. Getting into a relationship with someone whom you were attracted to for the exact qualities that you now want to forbid her from engaging in is totally different.

Here’s a checklist, taken from a domestic abuse support website explicitly saying that trying to take control over what someone can wear, who they can see, and what they can do is coercive behavior that is unacceptable (and in many cases, illegal).